So, here we are. The day I feared yet never really imagined. This isn’t how I expected to feel to be completely honest. I expected to ball my eyes out and not stop. But right now I’m only close to crying, and I just sit here in silence. It’s our 11 months today, 11 months of faithfullness to you, 11 months of happiness and 11 months of just us. So we sat there, I got mad and couldn’t control myself. I took my anger out on you because it was you that caused it. I didn’t know what else to do. We sat there and I reminded you of the past 11 months and how much it meant to us to just be talking to each other, but that is the past now. We were both upset at the thought of the past. But I thought that your laughter was a sign of you taking me back. But you weren’t. You really were upset. You were upset about how much things have changed, and so am I. I have no regrets at all, I don’t regret any of the time we have spent together. I wish that wasn’t the final goodbye. That, was exactly how I pictured. Our last kiss, you telling me you still loved me and always will. Life sucks for everyone. Love comes and goes and it fucking sucks. I hate everything right now. I don’t want to go to school or to do anything. I’m afraid of the future. I’m afraid of when you change your relationship status, girls will comment and like it and be happy about the thought. I’m afraid that on Saturday night, and at future parties you will get with girls and forget about me all together. I’m afraid you will never want me again, because I’ll be waiting for you. I don’t know what to do because I’m expecting you’re coming back, but what if you don’t? I haven’t thought it over. That you will be with other girls like you were with me. That you will be holding their hand, cuddling them, making love to them and just talking to them the way you did to me. I’m afraid to fall in love again. Cos love is just pain. It has such power. One minute it can make you happy, the next it can completely destroy you. You were my first everything so it’s hard for me to imagine me with anyone else, I wanted you forever and still do. I don’t even know what to say, my words are jumbled in my mind so I’ll try and stop writing. Sometimes people fall apart so they can fall back together. But sometimes they don’t. Sometimes all that was meant for them was to have their time together and that’s it. I miss you already and hope the best for you, you deserve it you’re amazing. I love you.